Pass the Clorox, Please

NOTE: In light of yesterday's tragic midwest tornadoes, I decided to change the title of this post so as not to alarm anyone.

My daughter has been sick with a sinus infection for three days.

Like most moms, whenever one of us is sick, I tend to obsess about germs and turn myself into Monk until the worst is over.

So I found this little quiz tonight and I'm seriously disturbed to learn that:

2,516,640How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?
Do you suppose my keyboard would survive a good spraying with Clorox Cleanup?

Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth O'Neal

Celebrating Memorial Day

Since today, May 30th, is the true Memorial Day (or Decoration Day, as it was once known), I wanted to share a few photos of how my family and I spent our weekend.

Last Saturday, we ventured up to the Santa Maria Cemetery where we "planted" flags on the graves of veterans. There were so many volunteers present that it only took about an hour to cover the entire cemetery (and it's not a tiny cemetery, either).

We were with a group from our local Children of the American Revolution (C.A.R.), but there were also representatives from the VFW, 4-H, Boy Scouts, DAR, and a few groups I couldn't identify.

My daughter loved carrying the flags around, and tried hard to plant a few herself. Unfortunately, the ground was as hard as concrete, so without a trusty screwdriver to make the hole first, it was almost impossible to get the flags in the ground... even for a grown-up.

It was a pretty amazing sight to see all those flags go up.









On Monday, we went back to the Santa Maria Cemetery for the official Memorial Day Ceremony, sponsored by the American Legion, Post 56, and the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Post 2521.

A few kids - including my daughter - presented a wreath from the C.A.R. Wreaths were also presented by the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR), and several other groups.









It was a very moving experience.

At one point, the ceremony was paused while Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." played. Several veterans in the audience were in uniform and removed their hats to slowly wave them to the music. I swear, there wasn't a dry eye in the place, including mine.

By the end of the weekend, my daughter was saying, "Flag" all by herself.

I think I got the point across... even to an almost-2-year old. In our house, Memorial Day isn't just a BBQ or a sale at the department store.

News coverage of this event by KCOY and The Santa Maria Times.

Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth O'Neal

Wordless Wednesday: Look Who's Coming to Dinner

"Look Who's Coming to Dinner," (Lompoc, Santa Barbara Co., California).
Photographed by Ben O'Neal, April 1, 2008.

About Wordless Wednesday.

Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth O'Neal

Taking it Easy...

I wish that was the case!

This will be a week of "light" blogging for me. My little family is getting ready to leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Santa Clara to attend the California State Society Daughters of the American Revolution's (DAR) 100th State Conference.

(My husband and daughter are coming with me for the first time, so this promises to be an interesting week, to say the least.)

I've been busy with several projects related to the Conference for the past few weeks - which is why I've been so quiet.

My intent is to post some pictures during our trip. It's possible that I may not get them posted until we return on Monday, but I have good intentions. Really, I do.

So, if you happen to stop by anyway, please say hello! And have a wonderful week!

____________________

For you Lompocans out there (and anyone else who is interested), please check out the article in the March 24, 2008 issue of The Lompoc Record titled "The March to Save La Purisima Mission."

For more ideas on how you can help save La Purisima Mission from closure, please read Sending Out an S.O.S.

My Ankleversary

Today marks a dubious sort of anniversary for me: it was one year ago today, February 24th, that I became a Woman of Steel by having a steel plate and eight screws surgically implanted in my left ankle.

The night before, after putting my daughter to bed, and while jauntily walking down the stairs without my shoes, I slipped and slammed my foot into the surprisingly sturdy baby gate at the bottom.

My ankle was dislocated and broken in four places.

There simply aren't enough bad words to describe how painful that incident was, so let me just say... it hurt. A LOT.

In fact, the ER nurse said that if she gave me any more morphine it would probably stop my heart... which didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time.

I vaguely remember firemen and paramedics arriving and carrying me out of the house on a gurney while my neighbors watched. I think I waved, but I'm not sure.

The next afternoon, I was treated to surgery by an entirely-too-attractive orthopedic surgeon. Which is just what every woman wants: to have a hottie doctor cut into your foot while you... well... look like you just fell down the stairs.

And I'm pretty sure I had forgotten to get a pedicure. I don't remember it being high on my to-do list with an 8-month old baby in the house.

I spent two days in the hospital, after which I was released on my own recognizance once I could prove myself with crutches. I was later to learn - after several nasty falls - that crutches and percocet don't mix.

My daughter, who didn't seem to notice my absence at all, will hopefully not be emotionally scarred for life by this incident.

In addition to Hottie Surgeon and the many friends and family who helped us during this time, I want to thank my anesthesiologist, who was by far the best I've ever had. And being a veteran of way too many surgeries, that's saying a lot. You rocked, Anesthesia Doctor!

(Forgive me, but I can't for the life of me remember his name. I was a little out-of-it at the time.

I do, however, remember telling him that he was so wonderful that I allllllllllways want him to be my anesthesiologist. I think I was drooling.)

After 2 weeks in a plaster cast (elevated, with ice), 4 weeks in an orthopedic boot, and 4 months in physical therapy, I was finally able to walk almost normally. One year later, I still have a bizarre, tingling numbness over the incision, probably because the hardware is still in there. And some days it just hurts like crazy.

On the bright side, however, I can now predict rain with almost 87% accuracy.

Not Just Another Sunday

For the past week, we've been having the biggest rainstorm to hit the California Central Coast in a long time. Slightly less than 6 inches has fallen since last Sunday, which is about half of our average yearly total.

In other words, we got a lot of rain. More than we're used to, anyway.

Our backyard flooded, but you really can't see it in this photo. But it is a nice photo of my backyard, nonetheless.



Saturday night, we had winds gusting up to 40+ mph. If you look closely, you can see that the chairs got blown away from the table.

I know that this is not exciting to those of you who are used to hurricanes and tornadoes, but to us California weather wimps, it's front page news. So please let us have our big deal, and don't tease. Thank you.

This morning, I opened my door and found an unusual visitor:



We don't live anywhere near where tumbleweeds normally tumble, so I have no idea how this guy got here.

Too bad he didn't bring the newspaper in with him. Would have saved me a trip out in the rain.

***

On the bright side, I participated in my first Scanfest this afternoon. I (virtually) met some terrific people from around the U.S., and I'll admit that I did a lot more chatting than I did scanning, but I got more accomplished than I would have if left to my own devices.

The event was graciously hosted by Miriam of AnceStories: The Stories of My Ancestors; you can read about our get-together here.

I'm hoping to attend the next Scanfest on February 24, 2008, so I can get that album back to my cousin some time this year. Dig out your box of photos-to-be-scanned and join us, if you can!

Girls Gone Wild

My husband left for a 2 week business trip to Florida today.

Aside from the obvious inconveniences of having to take the trash out, walk the dog, feed the guinea pigs, and… what else is it you do here, sweetheart? I can’t recall at the moment…

For some reason, it's oddly liberating to have your spouse gone for a while. Liberating in that I don't have to keep the sink free of dishes, do 57 loads of laundry a week, or fix dinner every night. Ok, I do have to do some of those things for my daughter, but she's just one, tiny person with tiny clothes who doesn't eat much.

Plus, I get the whole bed to myself, with no snoring or elbows to the head.

However, the main benefit of having hubby away is that he won't be bugging me about wasting anything.

Seriously. I can’t rinse the dishes fast enough without him complaining that I’m wasting water. And it’s not that that he’s worried about global warming or the depletion of our earth’s resources.

He’s concerned about the size of the utility bill.

Not that that’s unreasonable. It’s just that sometimes he’s just… unreasonable. (Like HE knows how long it takes to rinse a dish? As if.)

So, in case he's reading this (which he isn't), here's a list of what we did today:

Ran water for no apparent reason
Left refrigerator door open while I piddled around in the kitchen
Turned the heater up to 80 degrees
Opened the doors and windows when it got too hot
Turned up the heat again when it got too cold
Left the downstairs TV on while we were upstairs
Left the upstairs TV on while we were downstairs
Left the lights on all night to keep bogeyman away

Ah, the fun we’re having!

I think tomorrow we'll throw away food that's still fresh!

Or leave the van idling in the driveway!

Or run the sprinklers while it's raining!

Or... maybe we'll just head up to Costco and buy that 42" HDTV I've had my eye on instead.

Do we girls know how to have a good time or what?

Better hurry back, Mr. Hall Monitor.

The Long and the Short of It

So hey, wow... what the heck happened to ME? Last you heard, I was about to get on an airplane on Christmas Eve. Was I eaten by a mall Santa? Or did I have an unfortunate accident with eight tiny reindeer?

No, no. Nothing that interesting, unfortunately.

I did, however, have a run-in with the virus that wouldn't go away. Or rather, it wouldn't stay away. It did go away. Twice. And it came back. Twice.

I really should admire its persistence... its simple will to live. But I don't.

So, I'll spare you the ugly, mucous-filled details and just get to the good stuff. Here are a few of my observations of the past few weeks:

1. We did make it to the airport on time, although not by much. Did you know that every single parking lot in the greater Los Angeles area is full on Christmas Eve? Every lot EXCEPT for the hugely expensive one at the terminal? I'm telling you this so you can plan accordingly next year. Do not drive to LAX on Christmas Eve and expect to find a place to park. I'm warning you. It will cost you. Big time. Personally, I think it's a scam, but I'm that "glass half full" type anyway.



2. Why must there be agents at the "self serve" counters in airports? And why do they mysteriously vanish for large chunks of time just when you need them? Are we not smart enough to put the little tags on our own luggage? Or are they waiting to gouge us for being a half ounce over the 50 lb. weight limit?



3. Toddlers and airplanes: not a good mix. Toddlers like to stand, shout, jump up and down, stare at people, and throw things - all activities that are frowned upon by other passengers. Shame on me for violating this rule. Consider it payback, people. At one time or another, I was probably the victim of YOUR darling cherub. I can still feel the kicks on my back.



4. Changing tables in airplane bathrooms must have been invented by a man. A man who has never changed a diaper.



5. It is freaking cold in Massachusetts in December.



6. We had a nice visit with my father and family for Christmas. My daughter had a blast playing with her 7 year-old Auntie. However, I think it's their turn to visit us next year. I wouldn't want them to miss all that airport fun.
   
   


7. If your ancestors jumped off the boat in Massachusetts 400 years ago and never left the spot where they landed, you will hit the motherlode of genealogy. Congratulations to my stepmother, who has just begun her genealogical journey and is having way too easy of a time of it. Genealogy is just no fun unless you suffer with brick walls and burned-down courthouses for years.



8. My father took his DNA test and didn't complain too much. (This is part of the suffering I mentioned in #7. Our people jumped off the boat and ran as far as they could, leaving little or no trace. Oh, and the courthouse burned down.)
   
   



9. It's depressing to come home to the mess you didn't have time to clean up before you left.



10. Why is the first week of January such a popular week for people to visit Disneyland? I mean, the holiday decorations are real pretty and all, but they've been there for a month, people. Shouldn't you be at home nursing your New Year's Eve hangovers?
    
    



11. And what is so great about this ride at 7:30 in the morning? Seriously people; the movie is much better.



12. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is a very scary ride, something of which I was not aware until my daughter began screaming and crying. Must be the Heffalumps and Woozles, which frankly scare the crap out of me.
    
    



13. It's A Small World was a much better choice. My daughter rocked out to the so-catchy lyrics, and we learned to say "Merry Christmas" in 37 different languages. Except English, which was oddly missing.



14. My house is too small. I actually already knew this, but with 5 people visiting for 3 days, it became much more obvious.



15. Putting away Christmas decorations... ugh, just hit me with a large, blunt object. Please. It would be much less painful.

Well, that about sums it up. I do apologize to my 4 readers for not posting. I know you were worried, and I appreciate that.

Seriously. I love you guys. And I'm pretty sure I'm no longer contagious.

Why I'm a Bad Mommy: #132

I think nothing whatsoever of emotionally scarring my child for life, just for a good photo op.

See? Even Santa is hiding his face behind the green bug. He KNOWS. He doesn't want to be seen looking at the Bad Mommy.

BAD MOMMY!

Now go home and put some socks on that kid!

And It's Not Even Over Yet

After spiking a fever of 101.5 yesterday, and spending most of the day shivering wildly with my electric blanket pulled up to my eyeballs, my fever finally broke. Amazing how awful a little fever can make you feel.

Anyway, the worst of this flu seems to finally be over, and with it - hopefully - the worst of my whining.

My daughter has been sorely neglected by me this week, and I'm sure will be very glad to see her Daddy on Saturday.

So will I.

It's been a looooong week.

Ode to a Virus

Fever, chills, sore throat,
So much goop drips from my nose.
God, just let me die.

Heal Me, Oh Great Chocolate

In defense of my beautiful, wonderful daughter, I feel that I must right an injustice that has been done her.

It would appear that I did NOT catch a cold from her. In fact, I don't seem to have a cold at all.

What I actually seem to have is THE FLU.

Which my poor, maligned daughter clearly does not have. (Yet.)

My husband informed me this morning (from sunny, warm, Florida) that, "lots of people at work have the same symptoms you have.

You don't have to be one of Pooh's Supersleuths to know what that means:

It's all my husband's fault.

So, to my darling princess: Mommy is profoundly sorry. Your sweet, slobbery hugs and kisses are indeed making Mommy feel so much better. However, if you could stop coughing and sneezing on Mommy, she'd really appreciate it.

And yes, those are candy wrappers next to the disgusting, used tissues in the photo. Just because I've completely lost my sense of taste doesn't mean that chocolate doesn't still have a purpose.

(I apologize for the crap picture taken with my webcam. I couldn't muster enough brain cells to use the real camera.)

************************

In other news, we received word today that hubby's DNA test has been received by the labrats at FTDNA. Since he's doing a 37-marker test, they estimate another 6 weeks before we get the results.

If I had any feeling left in my head, I'm sure that I would be immensely excited.

What exactly is a "Pooh," anyway?

It's MY Party

Welcome to my Pity Party. Please come in.

You'll have to seat yourself though. And there will be no refreshments. I simply don't have the energy to be a good hostess today.

You see, my beautiful, wonderful, brilliant, precious daughter decided to exhibit some extremely untoddler-like behavior and SHARE:

Her Cold.

Poor, pitiful me. (Feel free to nod your heads in sympathy.)

I know, I know... I should be encouraging her to share. It is, after all, an admirable trait, that very few children her age can master.

However, she couldn't possibly have known that her Daddy was going out of state on business for a week, and her Mommy would be doing solo duty caring for her, a house, a neurotic dog with a bowel problem, and five hungry guinea pigs.

And let's don't forget that Christmas is coming, and I've barely even thought about shopping.

All I want to do is drag my pathetic, whiny, fever-addled, drippy-nosed butt back to bed, and sleep the glorious sleep of one who doesn't have a grouchy, sick toddler in the next room.

But I can't do that. Because every time I lay my head down and close my eyes, my daughter wakes up from her nap. I don't know how she knows, but she KNOWS. Must be some kind of toddler radar or something.

So here I sit, wide awake and feeling ever-so-sorry for myself, desperately hoping that nap time will extend into nitey nite time, completely bypassing any sort of feeding or bathing episode. Or anything involving poop.

Please do pull up a chair and wallow with me.

Here we go: <heavy sigh> (repeat)

Oh, and for tonight's entertainment, here's a little video about good health and cleanliness, something I wish I'd seen before I got sick:



Now... go wash your hands.

And My First Clue Was...

I promised my cousin Heidi that I would blog about this - apparently her hysterical laughter on the phone wasn't enough humiliation - so THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, HEIDI!

First, a little backstory...

Everyone in my little family, including myself, is allergic to milk.

We deal with this unusual phenomenon by drinking "milk" products made from soy, rice, or almonds most of the time.

Lately, many new products are coming out in the organic variety, and we like to try these whenever possible.

One of my husband's favorite treats is those little boxes of chocolate soy milk. So when I was shopping at Costco the other day and saw what I thought was a new product - little boxes of ORGANIC chocolate "soy" milk - I grabbed a box and stuck it in my cart without really looking at it.

The next morning as I was trying to find a place to store the box (since nothing purchased at Costco is small enough to fit in a standard-sized pantry), I noticed something odd: on the box it states, "Produced without the use of dangerous pesticides, added growth hormones, or antiboitics."

Sounds good, eh? After all, who wants that stuff in their milk??

But I started to wonder, "Strange... when did they start giving growth hormones and antibiotics to plants?"

Strange indeed!!

So I went back to look at the box and noticed a teeny, tiny, little "D" with the word "Dairy" in it, way up in the corner.

"Dairy? Soy isn't dairy... is it???"

It was at that point that I noticed all the little pictures of cows floating around on the box.

11.5 little cows, and 2 big cows, to be exact. One with the word "ORGANIC" in it, and the other with the exciting news about no growth hormones or antibiotics.

Sigh...

In my defense... I was shopping with a cranky toddler.

'Nuff said.

Excuses, Excuses

In retrospect, it seems to have been a good idea that I did not sign up for NaBloPoMo, considering how utterly lazy and careless I've been about posting.

On the other hand, perhaps being forced (or guilted) to post every single day would have kept me going.

But I doubt it.

I'll be honest: my life just isn't all that exciting. I stay home, I change diapers, yada, yada, yada. So it can be a struggle to come up with stories and topics with which to thrill and entertain you, gentle reader. Please be patient with me.

But here are a few highlights of the never-ending fun since I last posted:

• Attended my husband's niece's wedding in Florida. Lovely wedding, lovely weather... spent many hours on an airplane with a toddler.

• Celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband's aunt and uncle. Lovely home, delicious food. Ate too much, drank too much. Toddler refused all forms of food or drink.

• Put up our artificial Christmas tree that had spent the year in pieces in our garage. Very surprised that it still lights up! Well, most of it, anyway.

• Went shopping on "Black Friday." Oh come on... it wasn't that bad. I got a 500 GB external hard drive for $80. I'll brave the crowds for a deal like that any day!

That about sums it up in a nutshell... now you're all caught up!

I promise to be better next month, or at least, to try. It's hard to make promises to do anything with a toddler in the house.