So hey, wow... what the heck happened to ME? Last you heard, I was about to get on an airplane on Christmas Eve. Was I eaten by a mall Santa? Or did I have an unfortunate accident with eight tiny reindeer?
No, no. Nothing that interesting, unfortunately.
I did, however, have a run-in with the virus that wouldn't go away. Or rather, it wouldn't stay away. It did go away. Twice. And it came back. Twice.
I really should admire its persistence... its simple will to live. But I don't.
So, I'll spare you the ugly, mucous-filled details and just get to the good stuff. Here are a few of my observations of the past few weeks:
- We did make it to the airport on time, although not by much. Did you know that every single parking lot in the greater Los Angeles area is full on Christmas Eve? Every lot EXCEPT for the hugely expensive one at the terminal? I'm telling you this so you can plan accordingly next year. Do not drive to LAX on Christmas Eve and expect to find a place to park. I'm warning you. It will cost you. Big time. Personally, I think it's a scam, but I'm that "glass half full" type anyway.
- Why must there be agents at the "self serve" counters in airports? And why do they mysteriously vanish for large chunks of time just when you need them? Are we not smart enough to put the little tags on our own luggage? Or are they waiting to gouge us for being a half ounce over the 50 lb. weight limit?
- Toddlers and airplanes: not a good mix. Toddlers like to stand, shout, jump up and down, stare at people, and throw things - all activities that are frowned upon by other passengers. Shame on me for violating this rule. Consider it payback, people. At one time or another, I was probably the victim of YOUR darling cherub. I can still feel the kicks on my back.
- Changing tables in airplane bathrooms must have been invented by a man. A man who has never changed a diaper.
- It is freaking cold in Massachusetts in December.
- We had a nice visit with my father and family for Christmas. My daughter had a blast playing with her 7 year-old Auntie. However, I think it's their turn to visit us next year. I wouldn't want them to miss all that airport fun.
- If your ancestors jumped off the boat in Massachusetts 400 years ago and never left the spot where they landed, you will hit the motherlode of genealogy. Congratulations to my stepmother, who has just begun her genealogical journey and is having way too easy of a time of it. Genealogy is just no fun unless you suffer with brick walls and burned-down courthouses for years.
- My father took his DNA test and didn't complain too much. (This is part of the suffering I mentioned in #7. Our people jumped off the boat and ran as far as they could, leaving little or no trace. Oh, and the courthouse burned down.)
- It's depressing to come home to the mess you didn't have time to clean up before you left.
- Why is the first week of January such a popular week for people to visit Disneyland? I mean, the holiday decorations are real pretty and all, but they've been there for a month, people. Shouldn't you be at home nursing your New Year's Eve hangovers?
- And what is so great about this ride at 7:30 in the morning? Seriously people; the movie is much better.
- The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is a very scary ride, something of which I was not aware until my daughter began screaming and crying. Must be the Heffalumps and Woozles, which frankly scare the crap out of me.
- It's A Small World was a much better choice. My daughter rocked out to the so-catchy lyrics, and we learned to say "Merry Christmas" in 37 different languages. Except English, which was oddly missing.
- My house is too small. I actually already knew this, but with 5 people visiting for 3 days, it became much more obvious.
- Putting away Christmas decorations... ugh, just hit me with a large, blunt object. Please. It would be much less painful.
Well, that about sums it up. I do apologize to my 4 readers for not posting. I know you were worried, and I appreciate that.
Seriously. I love you guys. And I'm pretty sure I'm no longer contagious. Print this post